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The goal is to be with someone whose flaws you can deal with. Determine that you are in your relationship to enjoy yourself, not to try to fix, reform, or straighten out your partner. Allow yourself to influence your partner, but do not demand that he or she must change. = 160) focused their relationship improvement attempts on changing the partner, individuals reported more negative improvement strategies, lower improvement success, and, in turn, more negative relationship evaluations… (To learn the 5 things John Gottman says make love last, click here.) So honest communication sounds easy but what about when you discuss important topics where you really disagree?

Research suggests that all forms of lying—including white lies meant to spare the feelings of others—are associated with poorer-quality relationships.

Sigmund Freud came in What did Ellis have to say about making your relationship amazing? These couples intuitively understand that problems are inevitably part of a relationship, much the way chronic physical ailments are inevitable as you get older. Avoid the main relationship “killer” — frequent criticism of your partner. Gottman spells out 4 things that spell doom for love, and take a guess what #1 is? They didn’t take out the garbage because they forgot, but because they’re . From Making Intimate Connections: Explore disagreements with your partner to move toward a higher resolution that accepts parts of both your views. Additionally, be ready to compromise without pretending that you agree when you don’t really agree.

They are like a trick knee, a bad back, an irritable bowel, or tennis elbow. (To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here.) So you can accept your partner’s flaws. You’ve dealt with the bad — but what’s the best way to handle the good? From Making Intimate Connections: Avoid steady criticism. Find, discover, or even create things you really value about your partner. What’s the best method to use with major points of disagreement?"That doesn't give a sense of emotional bonding or intimacy that many people are craving," says Cooper.Carve out quality time when you're focusing on each other and nothing else." title="" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAIAAAAAAAP///y H5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" data-src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/cos.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/25/539fdc64ec541_-_cos-02-couple-happy-piggybacking-synd2.jpg?"One of the most important things about being in a relationship is you learn as much if not more about yourself as you do about your partner," says Cooper.By watching the way that you react to your partner and the ways in which you're challenged, you're forced to grow.

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